Posted by: Anne | February 22, 2014

“…but some people are hard to love”

Some ways to love people you don’t really like.

* Get Over Yourself

At its core, hatred is condescension. Hatred says, “I don’t like you because you’re not as funny as I am, as informed as I am, as attractive as I am or as interesting as I am.”

A condescending attitude unfairly requires people to maneuver their way up the treacherous mountain of our own approval.

But the truth is, you and I aren’t nearly as impressive as we pretend to be. We have faults, flaws and failures just like everyone else. If we took a minute to pump the brakes on our runaway egos, crazy Catherine, weird William and annoying Alice might not seem so crazy, weird or annoying.

* Ask Questions

It’s easy to reject people based on assumptions, stereotypes and their own false bravado. But the person we see at first glance is often a poor representation of who that person really is. Perhaps you’ve “never liked that guy” because you’ve never had a chance to see who he really is.

Relationships require questions. They can’t be built or maintained on the surface; we have to dig deeper. Instead of arguing to prove your point, why not ask, “Really? Why do you feel that way?” Instead of ignoring the person you don’t understand, why not ask them to tell you their story? Maybe there is a reason they act the way they do.

* Survive and Advance

Everyone has bad days. That’s true for both you and for your self-appointed nemesis. On days like these, you have a choice to make—you can be a diva or you can be disciplined.

A diva takes the easy road: quitting, storming out, proving their point, recruiting people to their side. But the disciplined person realizes that on some days the only way to win is to survive. Some days you have to just bite your tongue and give people some space.

Perseverance is the unsung hero of every relationship. Don’t give up today, because tomorrow things will look clearer. Tomorrow, tempers will cool down. Tomorrow you can try again.

* Focus on Common Ground

Any time two parties choose to focus on where they differ rather than where they agree, trouble is brewing. This is true of marriages, friendships, working relationships and dealing with your frienemy down the hall.

Rather than exaggerating your differences of opinion, upbringing or personality, find out what you have in common. You vote differently, but you both like politics. Common Ground. You belong to different denominations, but you both love God. Common Ground. He gets on your nerves, but you get on his nerves, too. Common ground!

Philippians 4:8 says, “if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” If there is even one thing excellent or praiseworthy you have in common, find it and celebrate it.

Read the full article at the source:


  1. I had the idea for this post last weekend, after my sister commented about our cats, “Why can’t Bo be sweet like his brother?”

    At that point, I had been annoyed at her being grumpy for most of the day, and, to me, her observation was a classic example of the pot calling the kettle black!

    Then the thought hit me like a ton of bricks: “Do you think YOU are easy to love?” And I realized that we *all* have our unlovable moments… so maybe we should give the other guy a break??

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