Posted by: Anne | December 10, 2016

Christmas giving

This Christmas…

End a quarrel.
Seek out a forgotten friend.
Dismiss suspicion, and replace it with trust.
Write a love letter.
Share some treasure.
Give a soft answer.
Keep a promise.
Find the time.
Forgo a grudge.
Forgive an enemy.
Apologize if you were wrong.
Try to understand.
Examine your demands on others.
Think first of someone else.
Be kind; be gentle.
Laugh a little.
Laugh a little more.
Express your gratitude.
Gladden the heart of a child.
Welcome a stranger.
Take pleasure in the beauty and the wonder of Earth.
Speak your love.
Speak it again.
Speak it yet again.

Found at:

Posted by: Anne | December 3, 2016

true thanksgiving

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.” ~ W. T. Purkiser

Posted by: Anne | November 19, 2016

gratefulness is a choice

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.”
~ Brother David Steindl-Rast

Posted by: Anne | November 5, 2016

proper politics

“I dream of a world where the truth is what shapes people’s politics, rather than politics shaping what people think is true.” – Neil deGrasse Tyson

Posted by: Anne | October 29, 2016

fear is a thief

“No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.” – Edmund Burke

Posted by: Anne | October 22, 2016

the other side is not dumb

The Other Side is Not Dumb

When someone communicates that they are not “on our side” our first reaction is to run away or dismiss them as stupid. To be sure, there are hateful, racist, people not worthy of the small amount of electricity it takes just one of your synapses to fire. I’m instead referencing those who actually believe in an opposing viewpoint of a complicated issue, and do so for genuine, considered reasons. Or at least, for reasons just as good as yours.

Isn’t it possible that you, like me, suffer from this from time to time? Isn’t it possible that we’re not right about everything? That those who live in places not where you live, watch shows that you don’t watch, and read books that you don’t read, have opinions and belief systems just as valid as yours?

That maybe you don’t see the entire picture?

Read the full article at the source:

Posted by: Anne | October 15, 2016

all is not truth

“We can only grow when we accept that not everything we tell ourselves is correct.” ~ Vienna Pharaon

Posted by: Anne | October 8, 2016

in “doofus” veritas? better look again

If someone were to ask whether we are a good judge of character, most of us would probably say that yes, indeed we are. Having interacted with others, our assessments of them are generally proven correct, because we’ve seen evidence to support our conclusions.

Or have we?

Confirmation bias, also called confirmatory bias or myside bias, is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or hypotheses, while giving disproportionately less consideration to alternative possibilities.

What does that mean?

People are prone to believe what they want to believe.

So, what’s the big deal? Well, if I’m not being objective and then I wrongly convince myself of something negative about someone, I’m creating problems where there were none.

What does that look like? It may take the form of… a coworker.

I’d like to introduce you to someone we all know. He works down the hall.

Most of us consider ourselves to be good people. We do our best to wake up on the right side of the bed, to see the good in others. But this guy! He is the exception; there’s nothing good about him. To put it frankly, the guy is a Doofus.

Doofus is always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. For instance, a couple of days ago it was the end of Q1. We were frantic, scraping for orders, rushing shipping – our goals were nearly in our reach. When we got to the office that morning, Doofus had left everyone a note with “tips to get us through the day.” (Quite frankly, he’s the last guy I’d take a tip from.) Then, around 10:00 a.m. he announced to everyone that he was done with his tasks and could lend a hand if anyone needed help. (One of my friends whispered, “Yeah, you can help by leaving.”)

At noon Doofus announced that he was headed to the deli and asked if anyone wanted to go. (He knew none of us were going to be able to leave our desks, and yet he still announced his departure. I nearly told him to get out of my face!) Then, at 2:00 p.m., our boss asked if anyone could give him a ride to the airport. (We all knew who was going to help; Doofus is a serious butt-kisser.)

Then it happened. He returned just before 4:00 p.m. With a can of Coke he stood next to the main printer – which was in overdrive, pushing out mailing labels. That’s when he did it. After telling a stupid joke the can slipped from his hand and – poof – the printer was done.

We were furious! And what made us even hotter is we knew it was going to happen!

You know what that is? It’s B.S.

It’s a Belief System.

The most effective leaders, those who get the most out of their team, understand this important fact: To the extent we choose, we will always find the evidence to support our current belief system.

The reader already knows that, had the person above been looking for different evidence, they would have found it. There was plenty of evidence to acquit Doofus. Yet, because there was an inaccurate belief system, because the colleague had been “Doofused,” there was only one type of evidence that was being inventoried – the evidence that supported the current belief system.

Tell-tale Signs of the Doofus Principle, their costs

  • “What you need to understand is…”
    Belief System expressed: You don’t know and I do.
    Cost: they’ve already begun to tune us out.
    Alternative approach: “What I’d like us to explore is…”
  • “And this is the marketing team, our creative folks.”
    Belief System expressed: Nobody outside of marketing is creative.
    Cost: we’ve significantly reduced the ingenuity capabilities of our entire team.
    Alternative approach: “And this is our marketing team, some more of our creative folks.”
  • “She’s an idiot.”
    Belief System expressed: That person will never have a chance around me.
    Cost: poor communication; poor relationships; poor results.
    Alternative approach: We don’t see things the same way. (Neither one of us is wrong.)

What will happen if, starting today, you begin looking for different evidence in those around you?

Read more at the sources for quoted material:

Exploring Leadership’s Doofus Principle

Posted by: Anne | September 24, 2016

hard lessons: beautiful life

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
– Dr.Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Found at:

Posted by: Anne | September 17, 2016

hard lessons: ebbs and flows

“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet, this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of time and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity, in freedom. The only real security is not owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was, nor forward to what it might be, but living in the present and accepting it as it is now. For relationships, too, must be like islands. One must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits islands surrounded and interrupted by the sea, continuously visited and abandoned by the tides. One must accept the serenity of the winged life, ebb and flow, of intermittency.”
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

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